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Good Grief: The 5 Stages of Grief

November 12, 2019
The Road Home to You

In the wake of my grandma’s recent and sudden passing, I wanted to take some time to talk about grief. It’s one of those experiences that we’re all going to face at some point in our lives, whether it’s due to losing a loved one or losing a pet, a dream or a career. Loss is simply a fact of life and with it comes a process of grief.

In this episode, you’ll learn the 5 stages of grief according to the DSM-5 (the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). More than “stages” these are 5 ways your grief may be experienced. They don’t always follow any kind of order and logic and will often come again even after you’ve moved to general acceptance.

The 5 Stages of Grief:

Denial and Isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

Listen to discover how each of these stages may present in your own experience, as well as how to help someone else who is going through the grief process.

*Note: We are not medical experts and this is not meant to be a substitute for medical advice. If you are experiencing debilitating grief or thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek immediate medical attention.

For the National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

A few things to note about grief:

*Grief hits us all differently.
*There is no RIGHT way to grieve.
*Whatever you’re feeling…it’s probably normal.
*Allow yourself (or others) to grieve.
*Grief is a process that takes time. For some of us, that time isn’t very long. For others, it lasts a lifetime.
*You are not weak for grieving.
*You are not weak for seeking help as you grieve.

As well as a discussion on grief, this episode is also a tribute to my grandma, Lila Lee Barr. She died at the age of 92 on November 6, 2019. A lover of words and rhyme, Grandma was an avid writer, even starting up her own newspaper, The Town and Country, in Maupin, Oregon in the late ’60s. She was a prolific poet and I am honored to share a few short pieces that she wrote at the close of today’s show.

(Lila Lee Barr circa 2014)

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Comfort in the Mourning: Beatitude #2

July 9, 2019
The Road Home to You

If we are born into this world we will, at some point, experience the exquisite pang of loss. We will weep for what was and mourn what will never be again. This world, it seems is the perfect training ground for grief and sadness.

But Jesus, in his sermon on the mount, as found in Matthew chapter 5, tells his followers, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

He doesn’t elaborate on this point, or frankly, any of the points he’s making in this exact moment of his discourse. He leaves it plain and simple. Essentially what he’s saying is, “The people who mourn will be happier than those that don’t because they’ll be comforted.”

Well, that seems odd, doesn’t it? Because like I said, if life teaches us anything, it’s that we’re all going to mourn at some point. So, what makes this statement so poignant?

This week, Brandy explores this brief beatitude by looking further into Jesus’ own suffering, the mission he was prophetically called to when he stepped into humankind as a man, and the mission of his second coming.

We’ll be looking at Matthew 5:5, John 11:32-38a, Isaiah 61:1-3, and 2 Corinthians 1:3.

The fact is, we are not alone in our suffering and grief. We have a God who can relate to our pain and has stepped into it with us.

Listen to this week’s episode to find out how well he can relate to us and what he promises us as our future with him unfurls.

Listen to the full episode here

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The Ideals of a Nation: A Letter of Gratitude

May 28, 2018
The Road Home to You

When he enlisted in the United States Navy, my grandpa, Harold was just a fresh-faced kid. Barely able to vote, he signed up to risk all he had for a country he loved.

(Harold Barr, 18 years old, 1943)

Having completed Boot Camp, he trained in Basic Engineering and at Diesel School in Virginia. Following that, he trained in what was then known as the Scouts and Raiders, but what we today call the Navy Seals. He told stories of harrowing training, being dropped off at sea, miles from shore in the dead of night with only one objective: get back to base. This perhaps seems especially frightening to me because I’m not a strong swimmer and you know…sharks.

But, he worked hard and soon found himself in China where his unit was sent to train the Chinese as guerilla fighters against Japan. He also did extensive work as a mechanic.

(Harold Barr, front and center)

Most of the stories he told from his time in China were the antics that he and his buddies shared. One particular incident involved a group of them landing a giant sea turtle and tying it to a cot. Their plan was simple. After dinner, they would take their prize to the local market and sell it for beer money. Sea turtles, it turns out, are stronger than they imagined. Upon their return from the mess tent, they discovered that not only had the turtle found his way back to the sea, but he’d taken the entire cot with him.

It wasn’t long before the war ended in victory for the Allied troops. At that time, it became a job of rounding up the Japanese troops for surrender. Finally, in May of 1946, Harold was honorably discharged.

My grandpa didn’t share stories of great heroism. While his recon missions where dangerous, I don’t know how many, if any of his brothers fell in combat. He didn’t storm the beach of Normandy. He didn’t spend his career climbing military ranks.

What he did was what most kids his age seemed to be doing. They saw a battle for justice being fought and they stepped in to give their support to the cause.

He was strong. He was brave. He was steadfast. He was what America has traditionally been.

Let’s never forget, not only the men and women who have fought and died for the ideals of our nation, but also, let us never forget those ideals. We are one nation. Indivisible. But only if we work together. Let’s not waste the sacrifice that so many have made.

(The American flag being presented to my grandma, Lila Lee Barr at the memorial service for her husband, Harold W. Barr; 2015; Kelly Cemetery; Maupin, OR. Daughter (my mom), Teresa in the red shirt.)

With gratitude and humility for all who have served,
Brandy

(Cover photo by Jakob Owens)