Posted in christian living, March 2019, Marriage and Dating, Podcast Show Notes, relationships

Domestic Abuse and the Church’s Response

Listen to the full episode here

In Part 2 of my conversation with Crystalyn, we dig deeper into the response the Christian church often has in the face of marriages broken by domestic abuse.

Too often, we walk away from messy people and their situations because we’re afraid we aren’t equipped to deal with the level of need. Today, learn some simple ways you can come alongside a family who needs to be heard and supported, even if you aren’t a trained professional.

Abuse Hotline

or call: 1-800-799-7233

Find information on developing a Safety Plan

Abuse Recovery Ministry and Services (ARMS)

Additional information will be posted/updated as available.

 

The Road Home to You podcast can be downloaded from Google Play, Stitcher, Apple Podcasts and pretty much anywhere podcasts are available.
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Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, “The Long Road Home” written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

Recorded, edited and produced at 4Gs Studios in Sandy, Or. All rights reserved.

Posted in christian living, March 2019, Marriage and Dating, Podcast Show Notes, relationships, Uncategorized

Domestic Abuse: A Survivor’s Story

Join Brandy this week to hear the story of one woman’s experience in two domestically abusive marriages. Hear how she overcame the manipulation that threatened to keep her locked in a cycle of shame, as she reached out for help.

Listen to the full episode here

Hear also how the Church both helped and hurt her as she sought clarity and guidance and a safe place to land.

This is Part 1 of a 2-part conversation with Crystalyn Tadano Reed. This hour, Crystalyn shares her story of recognizing abuse and seeking help. Even as she walks us through the years of abuse she endured, her life continues to point back to the redemptive work of Christ.

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS BEING ABUSED
please click on the following links to find resources for help.
You are not alone.

(ARMS) Abuse Recovery Ministry & Service
(This is located in the Portland, OR area)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline  

(NOTE: I WILL CONTINUE TO ADD RESOURCES AS AVAILABLE)

Join us next week for Part 2 to hear how we, as the Church can do a better job to come alongside those who are suffering in abusive relationships.

For more information and additional links, check out our website.

You can also find us on the following
social media platforms:
Facebook
Instagram
Pinterest

You can also Email Us with any comments or questions.

Special thanks to you James Swanson and James Page for their contribution on our theme song, “The Long Road Home” written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

Recorded, Edited and Produced by Brandy J. Goebel at 4Gs Studios located in beautiful downtown Sandy, OR. All rights reserved.

Posted in February 2019, Marriage and Dating, Podcast Show Notes, relationships

Communication Barriers and How to Overcome Them

Listen to the full episode here

In this week’s episode, Matt and I cover 8 common communication barriers that most couples encounter and then explore 7 ways to overcome them.

Because let’s face it: sometimes communication can be difficult. Between the busy-ness of everyday life to major stressors that are bound to occur, it’s not always easy talking to the person who’s going through life by our side.

Eight Common Barriers in Communication:

While these lists are, by no means, exhaustive, they definitely cover some of the major topics that we’ve either seen, experienced or heard other people talk about.

  1. Life transitions
  2. Financial Stress
  3. Physical and Mental Health Issues
  4. Busyness
  5. Changes in Sexual Relationship
  6. Extended Family
  7. Changing Hobbies and Interests
  8. Loss and Grief

Seven Practical Ways to Overcome Communication Barriers:

  1. Scheduling time for both fun and difficult conversations to take place
  2. In the middle of a crisis, put everything else on hold
  3. Keep a Captain’s Log
  4. Take time to really listen
  5. Honor and respect one another’s vulnerability
  6. Own your own issues
  7. Avoid passive-aggressive behavior

To hear how these ideas are fleshed out, tune into this week’s episode.

You can listen to the full episode here!

 

Posted in November 2018, Podcast Show Notes

Show Notes: “Consumer Blues Kill Holiday Cheer”

It’s that time of year again, boys and girls! The time when we pull out our credit cards and buy happiness. The more you spend the happier you are! Right?
If that doesn’t ring true to you, you’ve come to the right place! This week we are talking about how consumerism has got us down this holiday season.

Listen to the full episode here!

Ideas to make holiday cheer when your pockets are (mostly) empty:

  1. Remember the abundance you already have. Listen, this one is probably the hardest on the list because it’s so easy to start feeling like everyone else has so much more than you do. The fact is, chances are super good that if you can listen to this podcast or see this blog post, you probably have your basic needs being met. True, you may not have anything grand, but you have more than any number of other people. Again…this isn’t easy, but remember what you deserve: that’s right, death. So, yay! You’re alive and that’s pretty darn awesome!
  2. Look at Christmas through the eyes of a child. Remember when you were little and a week before Christmas break you’d look out the window while sitting in 6th period Science to see snow falling? You know that feeling you got? The anticipation and excitement of forts and snowmen to build, snowballs to throw and hot chocolate to drink all played havoc on any kid actually getting anything done in school. Let that kind of awe and wonder drive you this holiday season. If you can’t find it on your own, spend time with a little kid. Look at Christmas lights. Visit Santa.
  3. Focus on sharing moments with people rather than gifts. Take a walk in the snow. Fix up mugs of hot cocoa with marshmallows and candy canes then pile your family into the car, turn on the Christmas music and drive around to look at lights. Bake something new. Make homemade gifts…using only what you have on hand. Read Christmas stories. Watch all the Christmas movies. Take advantage of your local library. But be sure to do it all with people you love. Create memories that maybe don’t need to be shared on Instagram.
  4. Find a way to serve or give to others less fortunate than you. Let’s face it, there’s a super great chance that there are people in this world that would give anything to have as much as we have. Let’s spend some time brainstorming with our loved ones to find a way to give to someone who otherwise might get nothing. Giving truly is better than receiving.
  5. Never forget Christ in Christmas. The gift of a savior who was perfect in every way, but would lay down His life to be a sacrifice and then raise from the dead so that we could have an everlasting and intimate relationship with the God of the universe is the BEST possible gift we could ever receive.

There are any number of other ways you may find to keep your heart and head focused, not on what you lack, but on all that you have this holiday season. Please go to our Facebook group and share your ideas with others so we may all be encouraged!

Come check us out on Instagram and Pinterest

And in the meantime, Happy Holidays, guys! Let’s get this season rolling!

Posted in November 2018, Podcast Show Notes

Show Notes: “Holiday Survival Guide”

Let’s face it: as much as people love watching holiday Hallmark movies, they leave us longing for more in our own lives. More family. More laughter. More kisses under the mistletoe and more snow on the ground.

The Holiday Survival Guide

Meanwhile, our reality often looks quite a bit duller when compared to this idealized version we see on our screens. In real life, we have dirty dishes stacked up high, kids screaming in the background, someone passed out on the couch due to overindulgence of one sort or another. All we really want to do is lock ourselves in the bathroom and have a good cry.

Because the holidays are hard. Sometimes, they’re really hard.

Whatever we hope for during this season seldom comes to fruition. Instead, we end up stressed out and feeling empty and dissatisfied, or worse, completely hopeless.

Join us this week as Matt and I share some of our thoughts for self-care during the holidays that might bring you a new sense of peace and joy.

Listen to the full episode here

In this episode, we talk about being mindful of what we deserve vs. what we’ve been given, taking our desires and cares to God, and practical ideas for relieving stressful or awkward situations. We also talk about practicing kindness towards others as well as ourselves.

You can find us on FacebookInstagram and Pinterest

You can also email us.

 

Posted in November 2018, Podcast Show Notes

Show Notes: A Legacy of Faith; An Interview with Teresa Page-Ayala

“What is a legacy?
It’s planting seeds in a garden you never get to see.”
-Hamilton: An American Musical

This week, I’m joined by a very special guest in the studio: my mom.

Listen to the full episode here!

We had her visit planned for a few weeks. It was set for right between her birthday and mine. Immediately, I knew the first thing I wanted to do when she got here. Something I’d been wanting to do for years with her, it just never seemed to work out.

Go to Hobby Lobby.

Okay, that was first on my list of Things To Do With Mom, but a close second was to get her into the studio to record an interview with her.

So that’s what we did.

Join us as we talk about mothers and daughters, the generational differences between her, myself and my daughter and then the legacy of faith she gave to our family.

She walks us through the night she met Jesus and how that encounter changed everything. A short time later, my brother and I followed suit and within two years, our whole family was going to church together.

If you’re going to leave something behind for your children, make sure it’s more precious than silver or gold.

Leave a legacy of faith.

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You can also email us questions, comments, show ideas, prayers. We love hearing from you!

To become a sponsor of the show go to Patreon and join us on the road!

Intro and Outro Music: “The Long Road Home” Written by Brandy J. Goebel, Arrangement by James Swanson, Performed by James Page. Copyright 2018.

Posted in October 2018, Podcast Show Notes, Uncategorized

Lessons from the Road to Waimea Canyon: God is Awesome!

Alo-ha!

We’ve been home from Hawaii for a week now and boy, has it been hard getting back into the swing of things!

I, personally, could really get used to island time. Everything is a little slower and richer, somehow. There’s time to savor the moment and really take in the beauty that surrounds you.

That being said, we were so blessed and awed by our time in Kauai, that we want to share a little bit of it with you. Now, I know it’s not as good as actually flying you all there, but we did our best by stocking ourselves up with fresh pineapple and a yummy drink as we recorded this week’s episode. We encourage you to do the same while you listen as we share some of the things we learned while on the Garden Island.

Listen to the full episode here

First, I share the beautiful lesson we learned on what “aloha” means. As we were driving up to Waimea Canyon we stopped at a viewing area where there was a native man sharing some of the history and legend of Hawaii. It was the beginning of a profound lesson.

20181011_111747

 

Meanwhile, Matt shares how God shows up in unexpected ways and blesses us in ways we can’t even imagine. Sometimes, that blessing comes in the form of a trip of a lifetime. But always, God is blessing us.

20181006_114735

Poipu Beach – Kauai, Hawai’i

I’m sure I’ll post other pictures either here or on our social media accounts. It’s truly a beautiful place and if you ever have the opportunity to go to Kauai, by all means…GO!

Listen to the full episode here!

Live aloha, my friends!

Posted in October 2018, Podcast Show Notes, Uncategorized

Amazing Grace: One Woman’s Story of Redemption, Identity and Showing Up

After a week off for a vacation, we are pleased to introduce you to our friend, Trinity Pratt, who was a co-speaker at a recent women’s retreat with Brandy.

Trinity has an amazing story of God’s grace and redemptive work. After years of physical and sexual abuse, neglect and the trauma that resulted, including a trip to the “looney bin,” Trinity shares how she came to meet Jesus and how He has relentlessly pursued her throughout her life.

This was recorded live at the women’s retreat in September 2018 in Silver Falls, Oregon.

Listen in as Trinity shares her incredible journey with God and encourages us to combat the enemy’s lies with God’s unshakable truths. She will inspire you to “just show up” and let God use you right where you are.

Content warning: There is talk of sexual abuse, physical abuse, addiction, child neglect, and suicide. While it is non-graphic, it may be disturbing for some listeners.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Contact Us: 

Website
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Email us – We want to hear your questions, suggestions, topic ideas, prayer requests, praises and your own testimonies. You may even be asked to be a guest on our show!

Check out this episode!

Posted in October 2018, Podcast Show Notes

Show Notes: “Recovery and Restoration – an Interview with Dr. Kathy Rodriguez”

Recovery and restoration aren’t just for addicts and those who live with them. As it happens, we all live in a broken world where we rub elbows with broken people every day, which means we all have some hurts that need healing.

Join Brandy this week as she interviews her recovery mentor, Dr. Kathy Rodriguez, retired psychologist and author who continues to lead women into health and recovery.

Listen to the full episode here

Our conversation begins with a look at The Genesis Process.

Michael Dye, founder of The Genesis Process says
in the introduction of Book 1:
“The Genesis Process is an attempt to provide the necessary understanding,
as well as the practical tools, for real and permanent change.
It is a blend of biblical principles,
understanding of the brain, and proven recovery strategies
for not only freedom from self-destructive behaviors,
but also addressing the underlying issues that drive them.”

Discover our own thoughts and experiences with Genesis as a means of discipleship and spiritual growth, a process that never ends as God continues to reveal His ability to sanctify and renew us.

As a woman who married outside her race, then adopted African American children, Kathy also shares some of the issues that she and her husband have faced over the years.

This leads us right back to the goal of restoration and recovery, as we as individuals in a divided society work towards finding a way forward.

Listen to the full episode here

Kathy and I found several more subjects we’d like to delve into in the future and I look forward to sitting down with her again and hearing from her wise and compassionate heart.

Kathy’s Books:

Healing the Father Wound

Surviving the Secret

20180913_125400-01

Kathy and I post-interview…there’s still so much to talk about!

 

Other Things Mentioned:

Book Review will be happening on October 30th. If you’d lie to join us, you can find a copy of Max Lucado’s book, Unshakable Hope: Building Our Lives on the Promises of God.

To learn more about the Schoolhouse Rocked project, please click here and show your support: Schoolhouse Rocked Kickstarter

Reminder: Transcripts will be posted on the website when available.

Connect with Us:

Our website has additional articles and resources. Be sure to check it out.

We’d love to have you join our group on Facebook!

You can also follow us on Instagram and Pinterest

Email us

We’d love to hear your suggestions for show topics or guests, or if you would like to be a guest. We also find it an honor to come alongside you in prayer, so please share your prayer needs with us and let us share your burden.

Love God. Love people. Pray hard.

Posted in September 2018

Summer and Smoke

“Life is full of little mercies like that,
not big mercies but comfortable little mercies.
And so we are able to keep on going.” – Alma Winemiller
Tennessee Williams; Summer and Smoke

We were sixteen years old when we met.

He was a transplant student, having arrived part way through our Junior year of high school. I was introduced to him along with a group of my friends, as we sat at our usual lunch table. Our theater teacher led him over and told us we had a new student in the drama program, would we please take him under our collective wing and welcome him into our group.

It wasn’t hard to do. He had shaggy blond hair, golden sun-kissed skin and dimples that melted my heart with his first smile.

Within that first year, we did a scene together from Tennessee Williams’ play, Summer and Smoke. He played the naughty little boy, John and I played Alma, the sweet minister’s daughter next door. (Our roles should have been reversed.) In that scene, we had our first kiss, a quick peck on the cheek.

Six years later, we walked down the aisle and promised to love, honor and cherish each other till death do us part. What easy words to say and mean when you’re caught in the throes of love and wonder.

Slightly harder when reality crashes in and you’re suddenly met with the very real fact that your life now includes caring for someone else’s needs more than your own on a daily basis. Oh, sure, you still mean what you said that hot June day, but actually living it out is harder than you’d imagined it would be.

And then one day, those vows get lost in the selfishness of your own desires and soon, the life you’d always imagined you’d build together begins to crack in a thousand different ways until you’re looking at nothing more than a pile of rubble.

When we sat across from each other 15 years into our marriage and decided that we were going to stay side by side and fight for what we’d built, we started with a very practical exercise.

We went back to the beginning.

What made me “me” and what made Matt “Matt”?

We shared stories of our childhoods. Going back to the earliest memories we could muster. We shared the first time we were let down by someone we loved, we shared the moment we first realized that Mom and Dad can’t always protect us from the bogeymen that walk among us. We talked about rejection and shame. We cried over the memories that scarred us, leaving us damaged, broken adults.

And what we realized in the space of a few hours was that, though we’d grown up in different places under different circumstances, we were really, pretty much the same little kid deep down inside.

We were both insatiably curious about anything and everything. We both loved a good story and had rich imaginations. We both felt really small and often unheard in a world full of giants.

litle Brandy little Matt in barn

Brandy, approx. 5 years old; circa 1978                Matt, approx. 4 years old, circa 1977
What we realized was simple: we were two adults that had been hurt in life as little kids (because let’s face it, we all get hurt in one way or another) and we had carried those hurts and fears into our adulthoods and ultimately, our marriage. Those places of childhood hurt had resulted in us each seeking different ways to fill or replace whatever we felt had been lacking.

It didn’t make us bad people. It just made us broken people.

Seeing each other through a new lens, that of a child has helped us to understand and appreciate each other more. We’re more patient and understanding than we used to be. We recognize more easily when the other is being reminded of a loss or hurt that reaches the depths of the subconscious. We’re gentler, kinder and more sympathetic.

We’re not perfect.

We still have our moments, but more often than not, when I look at Matt now, I don’t just see the adult version that stands before me, with a beard and a job and a mortgage to pay. I see a little 4-year-old, crouched in the barn, with a head full of dreams and a heart already feeling the effects of living in a broken and fallen world.

And it makes me love him even more.