Posted in June 2019, Marriage and Dating, Podcast Show Notes, relationships

Self-Care for Your Marriage

Self-care is quite a little buzz phrase these days. We’ve all heard the term and use it to mean anything from taking a nap to going on vacation to spending quality time getting lost in a book.

But what does self-care for your marriage look like?

Listen to the full episode here!

Matt and I sat down and compiled a list of 10 things we think qualify as marital self-care. While this is by no means an exhaustive list, we believe it covers some of the most important (and often overlooked) ways you can nurture your marriage and your spouse. Let’s face it, we could all use a little more tenderness in our lives and who better to give it than your spouse?

Here’s our first ever Top Ten List:

  1. Date Night – This goes without saying, right? Dating your spouse is super important, especially if you have children who you’re also trying to raise. I mean honestly, kids are pretty attention-seeking and if we’re not careful they will easily pull focus. But your relationship deserves the time and attention it got back when you were trying to impress each other.

    It also goes without saying that most couples can’t do a once-a-week date because that can cost a TON of money! So find creative solutions: go for walks, take long drives on roads you’ve never explored, have a picnic, light some candles and take a soak in the tub, give massages. Now, if you have kids, you’re going to have to get even more creative…or bold. Don’t be afraid to ask another couple if they’d be willing to swap kids once a month. That way you both benefit from a night (or at least a few hours) free of kids without the expense.

  2. Find ‘Hidden Moments’ – This goes along with the first suggestion. You’re not always going to have a lot of time to enjoy each other’s company, so use the time you’ve got. Maybe it’s just a quick changing of the guard as you pass by each other on your way to and fro. Take a minute to exchange a meaningful moment. Check in with each other.

    Maybe you have a little bit of downtime while the baby is asleep. Go ahead and take a nap also, but do it together. Pack the kids up and head to McDonald’s. While they play, enjoy a Coke and have a conversation. Even if it’s in fits and starts, it’s better than nothing. Or do like we do…our kids are older but our daughter still isn’t driving herself and we’ve had some moments sitting in the car waiting at the pick-up line at school or while she’s in dance class.

    These aren’t the moments that will likely be full of great memories, but they are the moments that remind you both that your marriage is valuable and worth putting effort into.

  3. Pray for Each Other – It’s really such an easy thing to do, but how often do you we simply forget to pray for the person that matters most? When was the last time you asked your spouse, “How can I pray for you today?” Those few words show your mate that what’s important to them is important to you, too. They speak volumes. Ask this question at least once a week. (Note to Self: Be sure to ask Matt how I can pray for him this week….)
  4. Plan A Future Together – Whether it’s figuring out what you want to do for your next date, planning your dream vacation, plotting your next move or talking about the career you’d like to step into, planning for future events together keeps your eyes out ahead of you.

    It’s easy to get consumed with the day-to-day and only focus on the tasks (or children) that are right in front of you. But you are more than the next crisis your face. You have hopes and dreams and big ideas and so does your spouse. Celebrate those together by talking about something that’s coming up or something you’d like to see in the future. It will help stoke the fires that drive your passion toward a common goal and towards one another.

    Listen to the full episode here!

  5. Share Your Calendar – It’s not a glamorous suggestion, but just checking in with each other and sharing what’s on your calendar can keep you casually informed about any number of things. It’s great to be able to glance at the calendar and see what big events are looming because it reminds us how to pray for one another but it also can be an indicator as to why your favorite person in the whole world has turned into a monster. If your work presentation that’s happening on Thursday is written on the calendar, it just might help your spouse understand why you’re a little on edge.
  6. Pick Up the Slack When Your Spouse is Weak – There are going to be those days (and weeks and months) when your spouse just isn’t going to be able to do all the things you’ve grown accustomed to them doing. You’ll have those days, too. And when they happen, nothing feels better than knowing that your spouse has your back and is willing to step in and do the dishes or run the carpool or cook dinner. Especially when those things are done without expectation or guilt trips. Nobody needs that foolishness.

    If your spouse is sick, help out. If your spouse is depressed, let them rest. If your spouse is going completely postal because they’re sick and tired of being the only person in the entire house who seems to know how to wash a dish and put it in the dishwasher….wait, I’m sorry. I think I started to wander….

  7. Find A Mutual Hobby or Interest – We really like to watch TV together. It’s a great chance for us to escape for a little bit then come back to reality with some funny one-liners from whatever show we just watched. We could repeat show and movie lines all day long and just giggle. It’s our jam. We also really like playing Pathfinder together with a group of friends. We get to pretend to be heroes doing brave and amazing feats. Then we talk about the shenanigans our characters got up to until we play again. It’s how we unwind.

    Those things might not interest you at all. But what about hiking? Or beekeeping? Or going to antique stores? Video games?

    Whatever you both enjoy, jump in and do it together. If you haven’t found your thing yet, keep looking. Maybe try cooking or gardening. The point is, find “your” thing and then make time to enjoy it. The bonding that can happen in these moments is worth its weight in gold. I honestly believe that one of the reasons our marriage has survived through all the garbage is because we shared so many common interests and that kept our friendship alive.

  8. Compliment One Another – This shouldn’t be that hard, but for some it truly is. Some people just have a hard time remembering to say out loud the things that are in their heart while others simply can’t find anything worth complimenting in their spouse anymore.

    If that’s you in that latter group, dig deep. There was something in your spouse that initially drew you in. See if you can find it. If you can’t, look for something else. Anything else.

    The fact is, words have power. When we receive compliments, it bolsters us. It strengthens our confidence. It encourages us to do more of the same. Words of praise can soften the hearts of both those who give it and those who receive it. Compliment with sincerity and do it often.

  9. Have Meaningful Physical Touch – It doesn’t have to turn in to sex, but take time to hug and kiss and hold hands and give massages. These little displays of affection say everything without saying a word. You don’t have to put on a show in front of others, but simply hugging your spouse for a good 2 minutes will do amazing things for your emotional well-being and theirs.
  10. Have Sex – Yep. Just do it.

    Sometimes couples have vastly different sex-drives. That’s not uncommon but it’s also not an excuse. When we said “I do” we committed to loving our spouse and putting their needs above our own. We promised that what was ours was also theirs. That includes our body.

    It’s important to be attuned to your spouse’s sexual needs. Even if you’re not in the mood, you may just need to do what you can to get there because it’s been 3 months and your spouse is starting to look a little green around the gills.

    The fact is, you are a gift to your spouse. You are the gift that keeps on giving.

    Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean you have to get your funk on every single day, but it does mean that you need to do your part to show up for your spouse in order to show them that their needs are important to you.

    Have some conversations. Find out what’s best for you as a couple. Work together to find a compromise and then enjoy your time together. This kind of physical intimacy is unique and wonderful and a beautiful celebration of your love and commitment to one another. Relish it.

Listen, that was a LOT! The bottom line is this: if you are married, you are in it for the long haul. Wouldn’t it be better to do what you can to nurture your marriage and keep that spark alive rather than watch it burn out, having wasted time and energy on someone you “fell out of love” with?

Listen to the full episode here!

You don’t fall out love. You let love go. You give up on love. The fact is, marriage is really, really hard. It takes courage and tenacity and dedication and sacrifice and a thousand other things. You never get to a point when you can simply coast.

If you took the next 2 months or so and focused on one of these tips at a time, adding a new one every week, you might just be surprised at how your attitude and heart have changed. Give it a try. What have you got to lose?

 

Posted in advice, Fatherhood, June 2019, parenting, Podcast Show Notes

Dad Wisdom

Turn on the television and chances are good that you’ll find a show with a father who is ignorant, incapable or simply a joke. Hollywood has a knack for making a mockery of one of the most important and influential roles any man can have. And we, as consumers, have quickly adapted and assumed that the men in our lives truly are incapable of most any task and are hardly worth listening to.

It’s sad, really.

We have gone from the adage “Father knows best” to the attitude “Fathers don’t even matter.” We have relegated the role of Father as merely an afterthought. As if the contribution of sperm and a little DNA were all that men have to offer in their role as Parent.

What would happen if we actually paid heed to the wisdom of these men, who’ve provided food, shelter, and clothing to us? What would happen if we stopped to reflect on the messages they’ve sent us, often without any words at all? What would happen if we, for a brief moment, paused to listen to their silence, to hear what they hear?

Listen to the full episode here

This week, Matt and I sat down and shared some of the lessons our dads have each taught us. My own dad has been gone now for over 20 years, taken by a sudden heart attack in the middle of the night. We lived a couple states away at the time and the phone call I received from my mom at 3:00 a.m. is one I won’t soon forget. My dad’s death shook me to my core and honestly, nothing’s quite been the same ever since.

I only had 23 years with my dad. But those 23 years counted because he made them count. He invested in my brother and I and the boys he led in Scouts. He invested in the kids he taught at our high school and in our church’s Sunday School. He invested in his wife, my mom. He invested in his relationship with the God who saved him. And he lived that all out in front of us every day. He sometimes fell, but he was never too proud to admit his own shortcomings.

I could spend hundreds of pages writing down the lessons he taught me in those short years. He was a good, flawed, passionate man who loved God, his wife, and his kids.

Matt’s dad is still around, for which we are super grateful!

He, too, has loved God and his wife and kids well. He has shown himself to be loyal and disciplined and compassionate, a rock in the storm. And while he’s been a good model for Matt to look to, he’s also been a second dad to me. He’s shown his grace and love in a million ways over the years.

Matt and I recognize that we are exceedingly fortunate to have both been raised by godly, loving men, who were committed to their families. We understand that not everyone is that fortunate.

That being said, because we were both blessed to have a couple of good eggs for dads, we wanted to share with you some of the wisdom they shared with us.

Here’s a little glimpse:

  • Slow down and enjoy the process
  • Set your priorities
  • Belly laugh
  • Dream big and chase those dreams
  • If you’re going to do a thing, do it well
  • Persevere
  • Say you’re sorry

Listen to the full episode here!

Of course, the list could go on and on. This is just a fraction of the lessons our dads have taught us over the years. And I’m sure, as we continue to reflect on the men who helped raise and shape us and the ways they impacted our lives, more and more lessons will reveal themselves.

Driving home from dance class with my daughter tonight, we were talking about the importance of valuing people in our lives. She’s worried that she takes us, her mom, dad, and brother, for granted. She does. We all do. That’s what happens when you have someone in your life who’s just always there. They start to blend in with your surroundings. You don’t always notice the ways they add value to your life on a daily basis.

Until they’re gone.

Suddenly, those smiles, the hugs, the laughter, the sage advice, and the off-color jokes, all crystalize and you understand how valuable and sacred that love is. It all comes into super sharp focus and all you want is one more chance to say “I love you.”

As you listen to this week’s episode, I trust that you will not only be challenged by some of the lessons we’re passing on, but also that you would consider the men in your own life, whether they’re your father or a father-figure, and the ways they have shaped and molded you. Would you take the time to put into words the value they’ve added to your life? Would you share that with them?

Dads are really important. And not just because they’re the best at telling Dad Jokes. Dads have a lot to offer if we give them half a chance.

Tell your dad you love him. I know he’d like to hear it.

-Brandy

Listen to the full episode here!

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Me (Brandy) on my first pony ride with my mom and dad on either side. Circa 1975.

 

Posted in christian living, May 2019, Podcast Show Notes

Every Day is Memorial Day

We raise statues, monuments, and headstones to commemorate those we’ve lost and victories won. But what about the memorials and monuments to remember what God has done?

Join Matt and Brandy as they look at some of the Old Testament monuments that the Israelites erected. They’ll also explore different monuments we have and can find in our own lives in order to be reminded of God’s faithfulness.

Listen to the full episode here

Scriptures Referenced:

Joshua 4:20-24
Those twelve stones which they had taken from the Jordan, Joshua set up at Gilgal. He said to the sons of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in time to come saying, ‘What are these stones?’ then you shall inform your children saying, ‘Israel crossed this Jordan on dry ground.’ “For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed, just as the Lord your God had done to the Red Sea, which he dried up before us until we had crossed; that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever.”

Psalm 77:11-12
I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.

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You can also email us with stories about your own monuments
roadhometoyou@gmail.com

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. All rights reserved.

Posted in May 2019, mental health, Podcast Show Notes

Help! I’m Having A Mid-life Crisis!

Well, it’s time to admit it: we’re officially middle-aged. And with middle age, there are some weird transitions that take place.

Join Matt and Brandy as they sit down and talk about their own experiences with a mid-life “crisis” and what the experts have to say about navigating your way through this oddly reflective and exciting time of life.

You can listen to the full episode HERE

Articles that were mentioned:
Very Well Mind
Women’s Day

Other resources you may find helpful:
WebMD
Psych Central – pertaining to men specifically
APA
APA also

 

You can also find us on our social media platforms:
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Instagram
Pinterest

If you would like to be a guest on our show email us at roadhometoyou@gmail.com

 

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, “The Long Road Home” written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

Recorded, edited, and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. 2019. All rights reserved.

Posted in May 2019, Podcast Show Notes

The Long Road to Motherhood: Part 1

So many girls dream of the day they will one day become a mother. They envision their little dolls come to life. Cooing, crying, snuggled in tight. Finally, when the time comes and they’re ready to make this dream into a reality, it doesn’t always end up quite the way they’d planned.

The road to motherhood can be a difficult one at best, riddled with infertility, loss, confusion, isolation, and depression.

This week we present a 2-part conversation with Lisa Page and her own harrowing journey.

Listen to Part 1 here

Years of miscarriages and stillbirths, hope-filled expectations and shattered dreams, Lisa has felt every high and every low a woman can feel as she longed to finally bring a living baby home from the hospital.

Tune in to hear how God used this suffering to draw Lisa into a deeper, more grace-filled relationship with Him. Hear how she learned to cope with the well-intentioned and often painful words of condolence that she received.

Mostly, find hope as you listen to one woman’s journey as she learned that all the plans we make take a back seat to the sovereignty and goodness of God.

This is Part 1 of Lisa’s journey. Part 2 will be released later in the week.

Listen to Part 1 here

To see what Lisa is up to you can check out her music studio HERE
You can follow the band she’s in along with her husband, Chris and son, James on their Facebook Page 26 East

You can follow us on social media:
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Email us at roadhometoyou@gmail.com

You can help fund future road trips and support our show by donating at our Patreon Site. We appreciate our donors more than words can say!

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution on our intro song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

Free background music and outro provided by Fesliyan Studios https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/

This show was recorded at Lisa Page Music Studio in Sandy, Oregon.
Produced and Edited at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. All rights reserved.

Posted in April 2019, Podcast Show Notes

What is God’s Will for My Life?

Put away the Strength Finder’s test. Set aside the Meyers-Briggs. If you want to know what God’s will for your life truly is, there’s only one place to look…scripture.

What does God say about what His will for you is?

Listen to the full episode here

Join Matt and Brandy as they discuss this very topic as they celebrate the show’s one year anniversary. Tune in to hear about the journey of discovering God’s will and what that means for the future of this show.

Join us on our social medias:
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Become a financial contributor and help feed our family

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded at 4Gs Studios in Sandy, Or. Edited and produced by Brandy J. Goebel. All rights reserved.

Posted in April 2019, Podcast Show Notes

Questions for God

“If it turned out there was a God after all, and you could ask one question, what would it be?”

Listen to the full episode here

THE BIG QUESTIONS

We’ve all got big questions about life.

What is my purpose here? What happens when I die? If there is a God, why is there still suffering in the world? How do I know if I’m on the right path in life?

These questions and so many more plague our minds and often leave us feeling restless, dissatisfied and often more confused in the end. But still, we ask them, constantly searching for meaning and wisdom and understanding.

Even as Christians who already believe that God is real, we still find ourselves wrestling with many of the same issues.

Matt and I are currently involved in a program called Alpha. It’s a multi-week video program that you watch with a group of people who don’t identify as Christian but are searching for understanding and clarity to some of these larger questions. We have the opportunity to serve as hosts for a new group that recently started and the question at the top of this post is the very question we talked over this last week.

It was interesting to listen to the questions that people have on their hearts. They’re fairly universal, in fact.

In this week’s episode, Matt and I share the questions we’d ask God if given the chance.


SEEING GOOD AND EVIL

The question Matt poses is this: why didn’t God create in us the ability to better see the spiritual evil that is all around us?

Imagine having the superpower called something like…. Dark Vision. I don’t know, maybe that’s already a superpower, but work with me. Dark Vision is the ability to see the evil forces that are constantly at work on this planet.

Not sure if this is the right job for you take? No worries, with the power of Dark Vision you can see clearly that the CEO and President of the company are cutting corners by employing children in economically depressed countries for pennies a day. Determination: Evil. This would be a bad company to align with.

Dark Vision gives you the ability to easily detect what is opposed to God so you can make choices that better align with your beliefs and values. It also helps you to recognize ways to pray for those around you who are struggling in their own ways.

Listen to the full episode here


WHO AM I?

Meanwhile, Brandy pauses to reflect on the same question that David posed to God, “Who am I that you are mindful of me?”

The fact is if God is real (and we’re working on the belief that He is), then it stands to reason that He made each of us with the same care and detail that He made the rest of the natural world. That means, that he carefully crafted each one of us with special talents and abilities, certain physical limitations, brain capacity, and emotional intelligence. That means we were born into the time and place that He chose for us. He knows the intricate details of our bodies, souls, and minds because he intricately wove us together.

And if all of THAT is true, that must mean He loves us, right?

But, who am I?

Who am I that the God of the universe would take the time to even consider me worth the effort? Who am I that He would send His son to die on my behalf in order that He could have a relationship with me? Who am I?


YOUR TURN

So, if it turned out that there was a God, and you could ask one question…what would it be?

Join us on Facebook to share your answer! Let’s talk about it!

You can also find us on Instagram and Pinterest or you can Email us any questions, comments or show suggestions!

Listen to the full episode here

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20190414_135143-01[1]
This is right after we finished recording in front of the Newport Visual Art Center
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Day 3: We took in the touristy stuff down on the historic Bayfront of Newport, including  The Undersea Gardens, The Wax Works and Ripley’s Believe it or Not!

 

 

 

Posted in April 2019, christian living, Podcast Show Notes

Prayer and Bible Study: What’s it All About?

Faith is a journey. And as travelers on this road, it helps to have a map.

Listen to the full episode here

Join Matt and Brandy this week as they talk about Bible reading and prayer – two of the greatest ways to navigate your faith. They’ll talk about things that have worked in the past and where they’re at now practicing these spiritual disciplines. You might be shocked!


Additional Resources:

Bible Apps for your phone (and maybe your computer):
You Version Bible App – A great resource for multiple versions of scripture as well as a variety of reading plans and reminders to help you keep track.

Bible Gateway App – Similar to You Version with myriad choices to help you study


Bible Study Tools:
* Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance; a great resource for doing word study and learning the Greek and Hebrew of the original text without having to learn Greek or Hebrew.

* Look for books about topics such as: Inductive Bible Study or How to Study Your Bible


Other Spiritual Disciplines and Ways to Enhance Your Time with God:
Fasting                     Scripture memorization                  Listening prayer
Meditation              Journaling

Listen to the full episode here

To find us on social media clink the links below!
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You can also EMAIL US your show ideas, comments, questions, concerns, prayer needs, grocery lists, Amazon wishlist, your PTAs most recent meeting agenda….

 

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, produced, edited, and generally cobbled together in the spacious 4Gs Studios located in the luxurious mountain town of Sandy, Oregon, where it only rains most of the time.

2019. All rights reserved

Posted in April 2019, Podcast Show Notes

If Jesus is Love Why is God so Mean?

Listen to the full Episode here

“I like Jesus in the New Testament, but I could do without the God of the Old Testament. He’s just a bully.”

It’s a common complaint, so this week Matt and Brandy sit down with a special guest to talk about it. Is God the same throughout scripture? How can we trust that such a wrathful God is also a compassionate Savior? Join us for a lively discussion!

Gregg Chastain is the Pastor of Sandy Community Church in Sandy, Oregon. You can find out more about this church or contact Gregg by clicking here. You can also follow SCC on Instagram or Facebook.

CCS (2)

Community Church of Sandy – A congregation of believers that merged from Community Presbyterian and Fellowship Bible Church circa 2015. 

Listen to the full Episode here

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Posted in March 2019, podcast, Podcast Show Notes

A Little Help from our Friends

Hey y’all!

This week we are ‘officially’ taking a week off, but there’s still a very special announcement for you to listen to. It’s quick, so please tune in!

Listen to the full announcement here

As we approach our 1 year anniversary on this podcast, we are taking some time to reflect on how to move forward. We need your input and feedback, so, please…

Email us your ideas, thoughts, and feelings, as well as any questions you may have.

You can also support us financially by going to our Patreon Page and donating there. If you can’t commit to a monthly pledge, but would like to make a one-time donation, email us and we can direct you from there.

To follow our social media pages click on the following links:
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Listen to the full announcement here