The Road Home to You

Real conversations about mental health and faith

A White Christian Addressing Racism

June 5, 2020
The Road Home to You

As a Christian, I’m often faced with the difficult choice of how to respond to certain events on social media. Do I speak out? Who in my faith circle will that offend? Do I stay quiet? What message does that give to my friends who don’t share my faith? ‘What would Jesus do’ becomes more than a kitschy phrase worn on a bracelet; it becomes a real question with teeth. It’s a question that matters.

Many times I get it wrong. Horribly wrong. 

But right now, in the midst of a civil rights movement that has superseded a global health pandemic, I don’t wonder IF I should speak up. I wonder how.

It’s a tightrope, sometimes, trying to express passionate thoughts and ideas with just the right tone. I don’t want to sound sarcastic or dismissive or inconsiderate. I don’t want to be tone-deaf or come across as a know-it-all. The fact is, when it comes to the racial issues we are currently facing, I don’t know nearly as much as I should. My history books were largely void on the subject of racial inequalities. So much so, that for a good many years, I thought the battle against racism was largely gone. A battle fought and won by so many before I was even born. 

I was wrong.

I have seen racism against black and brown people, not on the news, but first hand. I have witnessed the racial slurs and the hatred spewed out on kids who were doing everything right, but their skin…was wrong. I have seen that here, in my own small town. Guns being pulled on kids minding their own business after celebrating the independence of our great nation. An independence that they only read about, but don’t truly get to experience. Not like I do. 

I know what it feels like to be pushed aside, to be marginalized, to be shushed for talking too loud. I get that. What I don’t know – not really – is what it feels like to be pulled over by a cop and rehearse everything my mama and my daddy told me about putting my arms just so and speaking in a calm and steady tone otherwise I might come off as threatening, giving that officer the idea he needs to protect himself. I don’t know what it’s like to watch my son walk out the front door and wonder if today is the day he won’t come home because he was wearing a hoodie downtown. 

There’s so much I don’t know.

But I’m learning. I’m learning about how in 1932, 600 black men were used as medical research for untreated syphilis, without informed consent. That experiment went on until 1972. For 40 years, these black men were uninformed lab rats. It’s called the “Tuskegee Study of Untreated Syphilis in the Negro Male.” Look it up. I’m learning how racial bias plays a role in the lack of adequate health care given to the black community, even IF they have comparable insurance and financial resources. 

I’m learning the disparities between predominately white schools and those that are predominately black. How do we assure that even in schools that are relatively diverse that students are being treated equitably? Are the brown kids being kept from the Talented and Gifted program because of the racial bias of their teachers?

These are big, deep problems. They go so far beyond the face of police brutality. Yes, our justice system is also broken. Our police stations are filled with Law Enforcement Officers, rather than Keepers of the Peace. There’s a difference there. It might seem like semantics, but it’s pervasive. It’s at the heart of it. When police are militarized, they’re bound to act more like soldiers. That’s what they’ve been trained to do. This is a problem, but it’s not the only problem.

You see, I know that I need to stand up and say something. I know I need to stand in the gap and be a friend to the marginalized. That’s the heart of Jesus. He, himself, spent time with people nobody else wanted to hang out with: tax collectors, prostitutes, adulterers, the poor, the sick, the afflicted. He came to serve the oppressed. He called me to do the same when he told the Pharisees that the two greatest commandments are these: Love God and Love People. 

I know my actions and my words may not always be “right.” I know I am bound to offend someone during all this. I’ve counted the cost, and I’m willing to take that chance. I cannot be silent. I won’t be silent. We’ve been silent too long.

So, what’s my point? I guess I just want you to hear my heart. I have a lot of friends who are speaking up and a lot who aren’t. I also have a lot of friends who are taking the time to listen to what’s being said; they’re also learning like I am and getting educated so they feel comfortable enough to speak. Me…? Maybe I speak a little too off-the-cuff. I like to think that’s part of my charm. Regardless, I simply want you to know that the battle that is being fought is a Just one. It’s for the right reasons. It might be messy and chaotic and look like it’s making everything worse, but that’s what happens when systems are disrupted. Shoot, that’s what happens when furniture gets rearranged. This is so much more than that. It’s not going to be easy and it certainly won’t appeal to anyone’s aesthetic taste, but sometimes you have to upset some tables in order for people to pay attention.

 

For more information:

Tuskegee Study

Implicit Bias and Racial Disparity in Health Care

Inequality in School

There are so many more articles on all these subjects. Please do your research. Also, be sure to learn about the Black Americans who have made incredible contributions to our world in art, music, literature, science, technology, space… They don’t get highlighted nearly enough.

When Home Isn’t Sweet – with Vanessa Harris

June 3, 2020
The Road Home to You

This is a special episode this week!

Listen to the full episode here

I’m featuring the podcast, Motherhood Unmasked, hosted by Vanessa Harris. Vanessa is also an author and a speaker. She is passionate about equipping women to take off the masks they wear and embrace their true identity. She is compassionate and resonates with wisdom.

In this episode, Vanessa addresses the very real concern that many women are facing during this pandemic and it isn’t the virus, it’s the abuser they live with. With grace and kindness, Vanessa brings encouragement and hope to the woman who may find herself feeling more isolated than ever.

If you or someone you know is in this situation and needs help, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233

To find Vanessa and her books, blog, and podcast:
vinelifefaith.com

You can also subscribe to Motherhood Unmasked on Spotify or Apple Podcasts

Good Grief: The 5 Stages of Grief

November 12, 2019
The Road Home to You

“>Play episode here

In the wake of my grandma’s recent and sudden passing, I wanted to take some time to talk about grief. It’s one of those experiences that we’re all going to face at some point in our lives, whether it’s due to losing a loved one or losing a pet, a dream or a career. Loss is simply a fact of life and with it comes a process of grief.

In this episode, you’ll learn the 5 stages of grief according to the DSM-5 (the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). More than “stages” these are 5 ways your grief may be experienced. They don’t always follow any kind of order and logic and will often come again even after you’ve moved to general acceptance.

The 5 Stages of Grief:

  1. Denial and Isolation
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

Listen to discover how each of these stages may present in your own experience, as well as how to help someone else who is going through the grief process.

*Note: We are not medical experts and this is not meant to be a substitute for medical advice. If you are experiencing debilitating grief or thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek immediate medical attention.

For the National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-8255 (TALK)

 

A few things to note about grief:

*Grief hits us all differently.
*There is no RIGHT way to grieve.
*Whatever you’re feeling…it’s probably normal.
*Allow yourself (or others) to grieve.
*Grief is a process that takes time. For some of us, that time isn’t very long. For others, it lasts a lifetime.
*You are not weak for grieving.
*You are not weak for seeking help as you grieve.

 

As well as a discussion on grief, this episode is also a tribute to my grandma, Lila Lee Barr. She died at the age of 92 on November 6, 2019. A lover of words and rhyme, Grandma was an avid writer, even starting up her own newspaper, The Town and Country, in Maupin, Oregon in the late ’60s. She was a prolific poet and I am honored to share a few short pieces that she wrote at the close of today’s show.

Screenshot_20191107-102557-03 (1)

(Lila Lee Barr circa 2014)


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Special thanks to James Page for his contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel and James Swanson. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. 2019. All rights reserved.

 

Six Months to Live

October 15, 2019
The Road Home to You

“If you knew you had 6 months to live, what would you do differently? Would you change your priorities, where you invest your time? If so, how?”

This was the question that was posed to us so join us today to hear our thoughts on the matter, as well as our challenge to you, our friends.

Listen to the full episode here

It seems like a relatively easy question to address, and pragmatically, it is. But when you stop and let the question hit you – when you feel its weight – it requires that you take more time to truly evaluate what you’re doing with your life and what, if anything, needs to change.

This question comes directly from the Genesis Process Change Groups Book 1 written by Michael Dye, CADC, NCAC II.

The Genesis Process has been a huge part of my own recovery process over the years. It helped clarify why I continue to do things that I know are bad for me, even when I don’t want to do them. That being said, like everyone else, I am a complicated being and easily find myself stumbling into the same bad patterns. In short, like you, I am in need of sanctification and that’s what Genesis does. If you have the opportunity to join a Genesis Process for Change Group near you, I’d highly encourage you to do so.

For more information, check out: Genesis Process

The other book that I mentioned is called “One Month to Live” by Kerry and Chris Shook. The subtitle is “Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life.” That pretty well sums it up. If you get the audio version, it is read by the authors, which is always a nice little addition. You can find the link here:
One Month to Live

If you have any questions, comments, prayer requests or show ideas,
please write to us at

roadhometoyou@gmail.com.

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Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, “The Long Road Home,” written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon where the full splendor of fall is on display and the skies are sunny and bright. 2019. All rights reserved.

National Recovery Month: Everyone is Broken

September 10, 2019
The Road Home to You

September is National Recovery Month.

Who knew?

Listen to the full episode here

According to recoverymonth.gov “National Recovery Month, sponsored by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), is a national observance held every September to educate Americans that substance use treatment and mental health services can enable those with mental and substance use disorders to live healthy and rewarding lives. This observance celebrates the millions of Americans who are in recovery from mental and substance use disorders, reminding us that treatment is effective and that people can and do recover. It also serves to help reduce the stigma and misconceptions that cloud public understanding of mental and substance use disorders, potentially discouraging others from seeking help.”

As a huge proponent to the belief that we’re all a little broken and we all use potentially harmful coping strategies to varying degrees, I am an avid supporter of recovery programs. There are a variety to chose from, from Alcoholics Annonymous, to Celebrate Recovery to my own favorite, The Genesis Process, there is something out there to help absolutely anyone. These don’t even take into account one-on-one counseling, group therapy or residential treatment.

The fact is, the only reason we stay stuck in our negative cycles is that we struggle to even acknowledge that we’re using faulty coping mechanisms. Like the Big Book says: The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

So what about you?

Do you find yourself, like the apostle Paul continuously doing the very thing you hate and unable to do the thing you want? If so, you are not alone!

Join me as I sit down with my own recovery mentor and guide, Dr. Kathy Rodriguez, PsyD, to talk about what recovery looks like, who needs it and, its place in the Church.

Be sure to comment or email and share your own experience with recovery. Or, if you are realizing that you’d like to find a recovery program but don’t know where to start, drop me a line and I’ll be happy to help you find some resources that are local to you.

If you happen to be local to my area, near Sandy, Oregon, I will be starting a Genesis Change Group at our church in October 2019. Again, feel free to let me know if you’d like to be a part of it!

Truly…from the bottom of my heart…I don’t believe my family would even still be together, much less thriving, were it not for the hard work that happened through recovery groups. It’s a difficult and on-going journey, but the rewards are too numerous to count and I can’t encourage you enough to take the time to examine the unhealthy areas in your life and then do the hard work of surrendering the root problems to God, who knows you better than any doctor ever could, and has the answers for your heart’s greatest longings.

Enjoy this conversation with my friend and mentor, Kathy!

Listen to the full episode here

You can find Kathy’s book here:
Healing the Father Wound

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Give Peace(making) A Chance: Beatitude #7

August 13, 2019
The Road Home to You

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the sons of God.” – Matthew 5:9

What if we have it all wrong? What if being a peacemaker means we actually ruffle some feathers. Turns out, that’s exactly what it means. Peacemaking isn’t for the fainthearted. It’s messy work, but it’s what we’re called to.

Listen to the full episode here

We’ll be spending our time looking at Matthew 5:9 and 2 Corinthians 5:17-21.

The Oxford Dictionary defines a peacemaker as “a person who brings about peace, especially by reconciling adversaries.”

Three things we can do as ministers of reconciliation:
* Love the unlovely
* Sitting with sinners
* Proclaim the Gospel

So, roll up your sleeves. It’s time to get a little messy.

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Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited and produced at 4G’s Studios in the lovely Sandy, Oregon, where the trees are green every day. 2019. All rights reserved.

Mercy Me! I Oughta Try That!

July 30, 2019
The Road Home to You

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” – Matthew 5:7

Mentioned well over 300 times in the Bible, mercy is a word we probably ought to pay more attention to. Especially in this day and age when politics and religion are getting co-mingled in ways that often make us forget that first and foremost, we are brothers and sisters in Christ.

Mercy Defined

The biblical definition for the word mercy, as used by Jesus in his sermon on the mount, is this: to be compassionate (by word or deed, specifically by divine grace); have compassion (pity on).

Meanwhile, Webster’s New World Dictionary defines it this way: 1. a refraining from harming offenders, enemies, etc., 2. imprisonment rather than death for a capital crime, 3. a disposition to forgive or be kind, 4. the power to forgive, 5. a lucky thing; blessing.

Listen to the full episode here

Live A Life of Mercy

This episode, as well as talking about what mercy is, we also focus on how to live a life of mercy in our day to day lives. We’ll look at 1 Peter 3:8-12 in the ERV (Easy to Read Version).

So all of you should live together in peace. Try to understand each other.
Love each other like brothers and sisters. Be kind [compassionate; merciful]
and humble. Don’t do wrong to anyone to pay them back for doing wrong
to you. Or don’t insult anyone to pay them back for insulting you. But ask
God to bless them. Do this because you yourselves were chosen to receive
a blessing. The Scriptures say,

‘If you want to enjoy true life
and have only good days, 
then avoid saying anything hurtful, 
and never let a lie come out of your mouth.
Stop doing what is wrong, and do good.
Look for peace, and do all you can to help people live peacefully.
The Lord watches over those who do what is right, an, 
and he listens to their prayers.
But he is against those who do evil.’

Listen

Listen in to this week’s episode to see some examples of how this might look in your own life.

Listen to the full episode here

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. 2019. All rights reserved.

Hunger and Thirst No More: Beatitude #4

July 23, 2019
The Road Home to You

We all know what it’s like to be hungry and thirsty, longing for something to fill our bellies. But what about our souls? What if there was a way to fill up the mysterious void we all seem to have deep down inside us?

Join Brandy this week for a quick lesson on Beatitude #4 to learn how you, too can be satisfied to your deepest core.

Listen to the full episode here

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Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited and produced in Sandy, Oregon, the 2nd fastest growing city in Oregon. Please don’t move here. 😉

Comfort in the Mourning: Beatitude #2

July 9, 2019
The Road Home to You

If we are born into this world we will, at some point, experience the exquisite pang of loss. We will weep for what was and mourn what will never be again. This world, it seems is the perfect training ground for grief and sadness.

But Jesus, in his sermon on the mount, as found in Matthew chapter 5, tells his followers, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

He doesn’t elaborate on this point, or frankly, any of the points he’s making in this exact moment of his discourse. He leaves it plain and simple. Essentially what he’s saying is, “The people who mourn will be happier than those that don’t because they’ll be comforted.”

Well, that seems odd, doesn’t it? Because like I said, if life teaches us anything, it’s that we’re all going to mourn at some point. So, what makes this statement so poignant?

This week, Brandy explores this brief beatitude by looking further into Jesus’ own suffering, the mission he was prophetically called to when he stepped into humankind as a man, and the mission of his second coming.

We’ll be looking at Matthew 5:5, John 11:32-38a, Isaiah 61:1-3, and 2 Corinthians 1:3.

The fact is, we are not alone in our suffering and grief. We have a God who can relate to our pain and has stepped into it with us.

Listen to this week’s episode to find out how well he can relate to us and what he promises us as our future with him unfurls.

Listen to the full episode here

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Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited, and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon, home of Bigfoot…. We have a hotel to prove it. 2019. All rights reserved.

Rewind: Jesus, Politics, and A Christian Response

June 25, 2019
The Road Home to You

As we enter into another Presidential Election, it seemed only fitting to review our approach to politics and people as followers of Christ.

Listen to the FULL EPISODE and a SUMMER ANNOUNCEMENT HERE

I’d also like to invite you to watch a sermon presented by our pastor, Gregg Chastain at Community Church of Sandy in Sandy, Oregon. We have recently started a series on the book of Daniel. It comes at a perfect time, as we as Christians find ourselves increasingly being marginalized and asked to conform to the world.

View the live stream of the sermon HERE

If you would like to help TRANSCRIBE our show or you have Pinterest expertise, please EMAIL ME.

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