The Road Home to You

Real conversations about mental health and faith

Quarantivities for the Soul

March 17, 2020
The Road Home to You

Anxiety, fear, grief, anger…these and so many more are the emotions that so many are feeling during these uncertain Corona Virus times.

Listen to the Full Episode Here

Today, Matt and I have a long-distance conversation about some of the ways we can not only take comfort in the promises of God during this time, but also very specific activities (or, as our daughter has dubbed them “quarantivities”) to fill our time wisely and with fun!

It must be said that in the less than 24 hours since recording this, things have changed here in the US and also with me, Brandy. While much of our conversation is focused on dealing with anxiety, I rather ironically, have been feeling my fair share of it. That being said, I remembered this conversation and took a dose of my own advice (“listen to music” and “turn off the news for a minute”) and am feeling markedly better.

This isn’t just lip service. This advice is practical and beneficial. I hope you take it and share it with people you love.

Self-Care and Activities During Quarantine:

1. Pray
2. Read the Bible: Psalms are great – try Psalm 23
3. Journal
4. Write letters and send them to loved ones
5. Listen to music you love
6. Spend time with your kids: Conversations, shooting hoops, video games, reading books, crafts, etc…
7. Go for a walk: fresh air + Vitamin D = good for ya!
8. Jigsaw puzzles
9. Complete your To-Do List: or at least knock it down – all those projects that you’re saving for “someday”
10. Work on a dream project: write the book, learn the instrument, read the series…

Things to Avoid:

1. Steady stream of news: Stay informed, but don’t only feed on a media diet of the news
2. Hours of Social Media: See above…
3. Binging on Netflix for the entire time: Give yourself limits and keep your body and brain active

Your mental health is just as important as your physical health during this time, so don’t neglect it!

If you’re struggling with depression or thoughts of self-harm, please contact the

Suicide Hotline:

1-800-273-8255

For More Episodes:

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Contact Brandy:

roadhometoyou@gmail.com

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Special thanks to the Jingle Punks for the use of their song, “Dusty Road” as our intro and outro.

This episode was recorded remotely and edited and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. Copyright 2020. All rights reserved.

A Message to My Daughter

March 12, 2020
The Road Home to You

At a time when there is so much to say about women’s empowerment and what it means, all I can think of is the message I want my own daughter to take into the world with her when she leaves the safety of this nest. I hope it resonates with you, too. Feel free to share it if it does.

 

Dear Sweet Girl,

I wanted to take a moment to tell you something: You are valuable.

I know, I say that a lot. But here’s the thing: you’re soon going to be out in the world on your own and I won’t be there to buffer you from the messages that it will send to you, which will likely be very different.

The world will tell you that sex sells, that in order to climb the ladder, get ahead, reach your pinnacle of success, you must compromise your standards and use your sexuality to help you advance. 

I say to you, you have been created with a brain that is beautiful and bright and full of curiosity and good thinking skills. You are creative and smart. You are able to problem-solve and research ideas and work with others to bring together something that is good and beneficial. You have deep and profound thoughts that sometimes blow my socks off because, at 17, you are so much smarter than I was.

The world will tell you that sex is the most important aspect of a relationship, that if you want to know your compatibility with a person you must give up the one thing that you can only give away once, your virginity.

I say to you that sex…is amazing. And scary. And sometimes, heartbreaking. The act of sex is about so much more than two naked bodies. Sex is intimacy at it’s deepest. It is giving your whole self to another person – your mind, your heart, and your body. It is a connection that will leave you inextricably connected with whoever you partner with for as long as you live. You don’t need to have great sex in order to have a good relationship. You need to have a great relationship that can withstand even the difficult times in your sex life, because those times will come, no matter who you are or who you’re with. 

The world will tell you that you are too young, too small, too insignificant to listen to. Or that you are too much – too loud, too bossy, too emotional.

I say you are just right. You have been created by God for a purpose and He has given you talents and gifts and passions to fulfill that purpose. There will be roadblocks along the way, but you can overcome. Because your youth has fire in its belly. Your size gives you swiftness and grace to adapt. Your words carry compassion and empathy and wisdom. Your volume is needed in a world that wants to close its ears to the plight of so many who have no voice. Your ability to lead and point others toward their gifts is a strength, not bossiness. And those feelings…those deep, deep feelings, when you hurt for those who hurt and you celebrate the victories of others, those are a reflection of Jesus.

The world will do it’s best to box you in. To say that as a woman, your value is found between your legs and in your willingness to compromise what you believe and know to be true about who you are and Whose you are. 

I say, don’t ever forget, my sweet child that you are a masterpiece, created by God. You are the apple of His eye. He rejoices over you with singing and dancing because His love for you knows no depths. There is no end to His affection for you. 

I wish that I could protect you from all that life will throw at you. There will be great loss and sadness in your life. There will be days you think you can’t breathe, much less get out of bed. There will be times when it feels like everything and everyone is doing it’s best to crush you. Know this, my girl, in the words of author Kathryn Stockett, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.” And none of that is to be taken lightly.

Go bravely into the world. Be the empowered woman that you are.

Comfort in the Mourning: Beatitude #2

July 9, 2019
The Road Home to You

If we are born into this world we will, at some point, experience the exquisite pang of loss. We will weep for what was and mourn what will never be again. This world, it seems is the perfect training ground for grief and sadness.

But Jesus, in his sermon on the mount, as found in Matthew chapter 5, tells his followers, “Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

He doesn’t elaborate on this point, or frankly, any of the points he’s making in this exact moment of his discourse. He leaves it plain and simple. Essentially what he’s saying is, “The people who mourn will be happier than those that don’t because they’ll be comforted.”

Well, that seems odd, doesn’t it? Because like I said, if life teaches us anything, it’s that we’re all going to mourn at some point. So, what makes this statement so poignant?

This week, Brandy explores this brief beatitude by looking further into Jesus’ own suffering, the mission he was prophetically called to when he stepped into humankind as a man, and the mission of his second coming.

We’ll be looking at Matthew 5:5, John 11:32-38a, Isaiah 61:1-3, and 2 Corinthians 1:3.

The fact is, we are not alone in our suffering and grief. We have a God who can relate to our pain and has stepped into it with us.

Listen to this week’s episode to find out how well he can relate to us and what he promises us as our future with him unfurls.

Listen to the full episode here

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Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution to our theme song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

This episode was recorded, edited, and produced at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon, home of Bigfoot…. We have a hotel to prove it. 2019. All rights reserved.

Dad Wisdom

June 11, 2019
The Road Home to You

Turn on the television and chances are good that you’ll find a show with a father who is ignorant, incapable or simply a joke. Hollywood has a knack for making a mockery of one of the most important and influential roles any man can have. And we, as consumers, have quickly adapted and assumed that the men in our lives truly are incapable of most any task and are hardly worth listening to.

It’s sad, really.

We have gone from the adage “Father knows best” to the attitude “Fathers don’t even matter.” We have relegated the role of Father as merely an afterthought. As if the contribution of sperm and a little DNA were all that men have to offer in their role as Parent.

What would happen if we actually paid heed to the wisdom of these men, who’ve provided food, shelter, and clothing to us? What would happen if we stopped to reflect on the messages they’ve sent us, often without any words at all? What would happen if we, for a brief moment, paused to listen to their silence, to hear what they hear?

Listen to the full episode here

This week, Matt and I sat down and shared some of the lessons our dads have each taught us. My own dad has been gone now for over 20 years, taken by a sudden heart attack in the middle of the night. We lived a couple states away at the time and the phone call I received from my mom at 3:00 a.m. is one I won’t soon forget. My dad’s death shook me to my core and honestly, nothing’s quite been the same ever since.

I only had 23 years with my dad. But those 23 years counted because he made them count. He invested in my brother and I and the boys he led in Scouts. He invested in the kids he taught at our high school and in our church’s Sunday School. He invested in his wife, my mom. He invested in his relationship with the God who saved him. And he lived that all out in front of us every day. He sometimes fell, but he was never too proud to admit his own shortcomings.

I could spend hundreds of pages writing down the lessons he taught me in those short years. He was a good, flawed, passionate man who loved God, his wife, and his kids.

Matt’s dad is still around, for which we are super grateful!

He, too, has loved God and his wife and kids well. He has shown himself to be loyal and disciplined and compassionate, a rock in the storm. And while he’s been a good model for Matt to look to, he’s also been a second dad to me. He’s shown his grace and love in a million ways over the years.

Matt and I recognize that we are exceedingly fortunate to have both been raised by godly, loving men, who were committed to their families. We understand that not everyone is that fortunate.

That being said, because we were both blessed to have a couple of good eggs for dads, we wanted to share with you some of the wisdom they shared with us.

Here’s a little glimpse:

  • Slow down and enjoy the process
  • Set your priorities
  • Belly laugh
  • Dream big and chase those dreams
  • If you’re going to do a thing, do it well
  • Persevere
  • Say you’re sorry

Listen to the full episode here!

Of course, the list could go on and on. This is just a fraction of the lessons our dads have taught us over the years. And I’m sure, as we continue to reflect on the men who helped raise and shape us and the ways they impacted our lives, more and more lessons will reveal themselves.

Driving home from dance class with my daughter tonight, we were talking about the importance of valuing people in our lives. She’s worried that she takes us, her mom, dad, and brother, for granted. She does. We all do. That’s what happens when you have someone in your life who’s just always there. They start to blend in with your surroundings. You don’t always notice the ways they add value to your life on a daily basis.

Until they’re gone.

Suddenly, those smiles, the hugs, the laughter, the sage advice, and the off-color jokes, all crystalize and you understand how valuable and sacred that love is. It all comes into super sharp focus and all you want is one more chance to say “I love you.”

As you listen to this week’s episode, I trust that you will not only be challenged by some of the lessons we’re passing on, but also that you would consider the men in your own life, whether they’re your father or a father-figure, and the ways they have shaped and molded you. Would you take the time to put into words the value they’ve added to your life? Would you share that with them?

Dads are really important. And not just because they’re the best at telling Dad Jokes. Dads have a lot to offer if we give them half a chance.

Tell your dad you love him. I know he’d like to hear it.

-Brandy

Listen to the full episode here!

20190129_133211-01

Me (Brandy) on my first pony ride with my mom and dad on either side. Circa 1975.

 

The Long Road to Motherhood

May 7, 2019
The Road Home to You

So many girls dream of the day they will one day become a mother. They envision their little dolls come to life. Cooing, crying, snuggled in tight. Finally, when the time comes and they’re ready to make this dream into a reality, it doesn’t always end up quite the way they’d planned.

The road to motherhood can be a difficult one at best, riddled with infertility, loss, confusion, isolation, and depression.

This week we present a 2-part conversation with Lisa Page and her own harrowing journey.

Listen to Part 1 here

Years of miscarriages and stillbirths, hope-filled expectations and shattered dreams, Lisa has felt every high and every low a woman can feel as she longed to finally bring a living baby home from the hospital.

Tune in to hear how God used this suffering to draw Lisa into a deeper, more grace-filled relationship with Him. Hear how she learned to cope with the well-intentioned and often painful words of condolence that she received.

Mostly, find hope as you listen to one woman’s journey as she learned that all the plans we make take a back seat to the sovereignty and goodness of God.

Listen to Part 2 here

 

To see what Lisa is up to you can check out her music studio HERE
You can follow the band she’s in along with her husband, Chris, and son, James on their Facebook Page 26 East

Another helpful resource is Moms in the Making, a faith-based fertility support group. Here is another link to their infertility support groups

 

You can follow us on social media:
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Email us at roadhometoyou@gmail.com

You can help fund future road trips and support our show by donating at our Patreon Site. We appreciate our donors more than words can say!

 

Special thanks to James Swanson and James Page for their contribution on our intro song, The Long Road Home, written by Brandy J. Goebel. Copyright 2018.

Free background music and outro provided by Fesliyan Studios https://www.fesliyanstudios.com/

This show was recorded at Lisa Page Music Studio in Sandy, Oregon.
Produced and Edited at 4G’s Studios in Sandy, Oregon. All rights reserved.

Show Notes – “Coming Out: I Had An Affair”

September 4, 2018
The Road Home to You

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
– Matthew 5:27-28

Adultery. 

Not a very pretty word is it? But there it is. In black and white. You can sugar-coat it and call it something different, but it’s all the same ugly sin.

This week, we dive headlong into our own journey of adultery and the grace and redemption that God provided. Eight years have passed since the news came out that shook our world to its core.

We invite you to step into this conversation with us because we hear, on a near daily basis of so many other marriages that are struggling with their own battles of infidelity. We want to bring hope and encouragement to those of you currently walking this path and in next week’s episode, we want to provide some common pitfalls to avoid or overcome that oftentimes lead to an affair.

Listen to the full episode here

If you are struggling in your own marriage, please listen. Please reach out. To us. A pastor. A counselor. There is grace. There is healing. There is a new beginning available to you and your marriage. You are not alone.

Read the full transcript here

Here are the links to many of the tools I used in my own recovery process:

“Breaking Free” Beth Moore
“When Godly People do Ungodly Things” Beth Moore
“David: A Man After God’s Own Heart” Beth Moore
“The Genesis Process”

Previous episodes can be found here on Google Play!

We can also be found in Apple Podcasts (formerly iTunes), Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Spotify and pretty much any podcast app. Please share with your friends, neighbors, people you love, and people you love to hate because everybody needs a little encouragement and grace.

Our social media links:

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To become a Patreon supporter and receive some cool rewards click here!

Special shout-out to our friend, Phil who has recently become a Patreon supporter! We appreciate your encouragement and kindness!

Alright…Love God. Love People. Pray hard.

 

I Laughed So Hard Until I cried

July 26, 2018
The Road Home to You

“Even in laughter the heart may be in pain.
                And the end of joy may be grief.”               
– Proverbs 14:13

Life is short, isn’t it?

Some days may slog on for eternity, but really, if you look back over your life, it’s gone pretty quickly. I remember when Prince was proclaiming we’re going to party like it’s 1999. And honestly, it just doesn’t seem that long ago.

But the fact is, our time here is brief. Maybe even briefer than we know.

In the past year, I have become acquainted with three separate families who have all had a child who’s been seriously injured in horrendous car accidents. These are good, Christian families with good, Christian kids. They weren’t drinking and driving. They weren’t doing anything “bad.” They were just at the wrong place, at the wrong time and life suddenly and irrevocably changed.

These young, bright, vivacious, healthy and active young people on the cusp of becoming independent have been brought to a place where they are fighting to relearn what they used to take for granted. And their parents are right there beside them, learning just how insignificant their efforts to protect their children have been.

I have watched these stories unfold as moms and dads are sharing the victories and the pain as they watch their children fight to live and then relearn how to walk. I hear their sorrow as they recall the bittersweet memories of their child on the basketball court, running and jumping with elegance and grace.

These are parents that never expected to be sitting up all night in their child’s hospital room, nurses and doctors speaking in hushed voices as the machines that are pumping life into their child hum and whir. They’re parents who, when their baby was taking their first uncertain steps, clinging to the coffee table, were making plans and sharing dreams about what their little lives would hold. They never imagined this is where they’d be 16 years later. Wondering, will my baby even live?

I spent yesterday in town running errands. Sometimes I really appreciate the time to do these simple chores on my own. I turn on a podcast or music, I pray, I people watch. It’s nice to have the time to just think.

But yesterday, my son, Evan wanted to join me. He’s 18, getting ready to venture out into life on his own before long and I was happy to have him by my side yesterday, not because I asked him for help, but because he just wanted to tag along. I figure I might as well take advantage of those moments while I can because they’re coming to an end.

We spent several hours in town, first in a local big-box store then on to get groceries. It truly wasn’t a remarkable trip except for this: the laughter that we shared.

We laughed so hard in Costco, as we sat stuck in an oversized lounge chair, sure that an employee was going to come and tell us to kindly remove ourselves from the store and never come back. We annoyed other customers who also wanted to take a seat in this, the comfiest of chairs, but we simply refused to move. We were having too much fun.

We laughed about everything. We talked about nothing. We shared a moment. That’s all it was.

My to-do list for the week is a mile long and seems to be growing by the hour. There was a part of me yesterday that really wanted to just blast through the errands and then move on to the work that’s piling up on my desk.

But then I remembered these parents whose lives are forever changed because they almost lost their child to a tragic event. And I remembered those parents I know whose children don’t even have the opportunity to relearn what once came so easily because their kids are gone. They don’t get to hear their voice or hug them close ever again.

And I embraced the moment to spend a few hours with this man-child of mine, who’s taller and stronger than me, but whom I will always and forever see as the little toddler just learning how to step out on his own. I cherished our time together to be silly, to laugh hard, to make memories and create inside jokes.

We don’t know what tomorrow or even the rest of today holds. We don’t know when our time is up when God will say, “It’s time to come home,” so we have to make the moments count.

Every chance, every day…. Be present. Say, “I love you.” Hug them hard.

Grief and pain are guaranteed. They may even be just around the corner. So hang on to the present and give thanks to the God who loves us in and through every storm life brings our way.

With love,
Brandy

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